This is the price you pay for loss of control

Today was supposed to be no food. I did good on monday, but tuesday I broke and had dinner with my dad. Today when I got home.. I had this low calorie and low fat instant pudding my mom keeps around, and a low fat yogurt. It doesn't sound like much when I write it down, but feeling in my stomach it feels like I ate a mountain, which I did. Tomorrow.. I'm busy all day. I'm not even going home after school untill 6 ish, and then I'm going at 7:30 to my friends house, and going to her school the next day.

I think all this eating is a direct correlation of seeing and cuddling with my friend, that I have had a thing with since we met but it was greatly expressed yesterday, and now we're hanging out on sunday! When we were together.. somehow my weight got into it and I said how I was 110. He said ew.. At first I thought he meant it in a I'm to light kinda of way.. but what if he meant I was fat? All his ex girlfriends are even bigger than I am right now, or ever was really.. But still! He had to meant that, I'm no where close to being disgustingly skinny, I only wish I was. I have a new goal of 95 but I can't go and change my user name now. It's only a pound less.